Today, after work, I peeled a parking ticket off my windshield. It was so hot that the ink from the ticket made a stamp on my windshield. Now I have a permanent reminder staring me in the face wherever I drive. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend’s birthday, and I thought I’d surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the pub after work again. When I told him how much I hate coming home to a cold, dark house, he told me to turn a light on in the morning before I go to work. FML
Today, I had my leaving party after work to celebrate getting a new job. 3 people turned up. I’d invited 35. FML
Today, I realized that I broke up with a man that loved me and was great in bed but was afraid of commitment, to be with a man that loves me, who is great in bed, and wants to be with me forever. So what’s the problem? Now that we are committed, he won’t get it on with me anymore. FML
Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML
Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for “stocking,” as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML