Posts Tagged ‘alarm’

Today, my dad threw my $300 dollar iTouch out the window. Apparently the alarm went off and he didn’t know how to turn it off. It was his solution. FML

Today, I was babysitting in a wealthy neighborhood. I walked in the door and the alarm went off and started blaring loudly. Minutes after this, I managed to lock myself out of the house, which made it really fun when the cops showed up thinking I was trying to rob it. It was my first day at work. FML

Today, I woke up two hours late for work. Turns out my parents had got home drunk after I’d fallen asleep, and thought it would be funny to take my phone (which I use as my alarm) and prank call all my friends. Now I don’t have any friends or a job. FML

Today, my husband thought it’d be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. My husband won’t talk to me because I showed my body to other men. FML

Today, I went shopping with my son. When I passed by the alarm gates, they rang. It came to my attention that my five year old son stuck an anti-theft device in his pants. Security thinks I tried to have him shoplift for me. FML

Today, I spent half an hour tearing my room apart looking for my inhaler that I desperately needed to use. I almost gave up when I found it two feet away from me, hiding behind my alarm clock. FML

Today, I decided to take a nap in my car on my lunch break. I set the alarm on my phone. I woke up to numerous missed calls and text messages from my husband asking where I was and if I was OK. I then realized i had forgotten to turn my phone off vibrate. It was 6 o’clock. My shift ended at 5. FML

Today, somehow my co-workers forgot that I was in the office, and turned on the alarm and left. I didn’t realize this until I stood up half an hour later, which triggered the motion sensor. FML

Today, my sister turned off my alarm clock, making me late for school. I now have to take my state testing during the summer. FML

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML