Posts Tagged ‘alarm’

Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML

Today, I was going to pretend to be ill to stay home from school to finish a project that was due today. Ironically, this morning my alarm clock woke me with the song ‘I Feel Fine.’ My superstitious parents saw it as a sign and sent me to school. FML

Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

Today, my dad threw my $300 dollar iTouch out the window. Apparently the alarm went off and he didn’t know how to turn it off. It was his solution. FML

Today, I was babysitting in a wealthy neighborhood. I walked in the door and the alarm went off and started blaring loudly. Minutes after this, I managed to lock myself out of the house, which made it really fun when the cops showed up thinking I was trying to rob it. It was my first day at work. FML

Today, I woke up two hours late for work. Turns out my parents had got home drunk after I’d fallen asleep, and thought it would be funny to take my phone (which I use as my alarm) and prank call all my friends. Now I don’t have any friends or a job. FML

Today, my husband thought it’d be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. My husband won’t talk to me because I showed my body to other men. FML

Today, I went shopping with my son. When I passed by the alarm gates, they rang. It came to my attention that my five year old son stuck an anti-theft device in his pants. Security thinks I tried to have him shoplift for me. FML

Today, I spent half an hour tearing my room apart looking for my inhaler that I desperately needed to use. I almost gave up when I found it two feet away from me, hiding behind my alarm clock. FML

Today, I decided to take a nap in my car on my lunch break. I set the alarm on my phone. I woke up to numerous missed calls and text messages from my husband asking where I was and if I was OK. I then realized i had forgotten to turn my phone off vibrate. It was 6 o’clock. My shift ended at 5. FML

Today, somehow my co-workers forgot that I was in the office, and turned on the alarm and left. I didn’t realize this until I stood up half an hour later, which triggered the motion sensor. FML

Today, my sister turned off my alarm clock, making me late for school. I now have to take my state testing during the summer. FML

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML