FML Today » alarm

2285morgan says FML

admin — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 22:53:17 +0000

Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML

seekaseeka says FML

admin — Wed, 11 May 2011 20:28:10 +0000

Today, I was going to pretend to be ill to stay home from school to finish a project that was due today. Ironically, this morning my alarm clock woke me with the song ‘I Feel Fine.’ My superstitious parents saw it as a sign and sent me to school. FML

Tara says FML

admin — Sun, 01 May 2011 08:46:36 +0000

Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML

FistFighter says FML

admin — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 11:12:00 +0000

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

iheartmyipod says FML

admin — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 15:03:14 +0000

Today, my dad threw my $300 dollar iTouch out the window. Apparently the alarm went off and he didn’t know how to turn it off. It was his solution. FML

LousySitter says FML

admin — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 22:29:57 +0000

Today, I was babysitting in a wealthy neighborhood. I walked in the door and the alarm went off and started blaring loudly. Minutes after this, I managed to lock myself out of the house, which made it really fun when the cops showed up thinking I was trying to rob it. It was my first day at work. FML

elle says FML

admin — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 07:26:10 +0000

Today, I woke up two hours late for work. Turns out my parents had got home drunk after I’d fallen asleep, and thought it would be funny to take my phone (which I use as my alarm) and prank call all my friends. Now I don’t have any friends or a job. FML

Hunterxx says FML

admin — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 11:02:34 +0000

Today, my husband thought it’d be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. My husband won’t talk to me because I showed my body to other men. FML

kidssuck says FML

admin — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 22:35:28 +0000

Today, I went shopping with my son. When I passed by the alarm gates, they rang. It came to my attention that my five year old son stuck an anti-theft device in his pants. Security thinks I tried to have him shoplift for me. FML

Lookcarefully says FML

admin — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 01:12:17 +0000

Today, I spent half an hour tearing my room apart looking for my inhaler that I desperately needed to use. I almost gave up when I found it two feet away from me, hiding behind my alarm clock. FML

Danielle says FML

admin — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 22:30:25 +0000

Today, I decided to take a nap in my car on my lunch break. I set the alarm on my phone. I woke up to numerous missed calls and text messages from my husband asking where I was and if I was OK. I then realized i had forgotten to turn my phone off vibrate. It was 6 o’clock. My shift ended at 5. FML

JustSteve says FML

admin — Wed, 26 May 2010 08:30:33 +0000

Today, somehow my co-workers forgot that I was in the office, and turned on the alarm and left. I didn’t realize this until I stood up half an hour later, which triggered the motion sensor. FML

zanderman101 says FML

admin — Mon, 03 May 2010 21:57:20 +0000

Today, my sister turned off my alarm clock, making me late for school. I now have to take my state testing during the summer. FML

sacked says FML

admin — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:51:25 +0000

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

mynoseburns says FML

admin — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:32:33 +0000

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

Ishii says FML

admin — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 13:58:58 +0000

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I am now 20 minutes late for work. FML

arachnidphobia says FML

admin — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 22:22:37 +0000

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

noblow says FML

admin — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 21:14:10 +0000

Today, after having sex several times, my romantic boyfriend went down on me. He took one lick before exclaiming “ugh! gross! ew! oh that tastes disgusting!” FML

BrutallyBlonde says FML

admin — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 19:03:43 +0000

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend’s house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When i went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

SoVeryMonday says FML

admin — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:01:17 +0000

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML