Posts Tagged ‘all-over’

Today, I found out that getting your hair dyed can result in an allergic reaction that leaves bleeding sores all over your scalp. FML

Today, I fell down the stairs. The laptop I had been carrying flew halfway across the room. I now have carpet burns all over my body from tumbling down and a broken computer. I am leaving for college tomorrow and needed that computer. FML

Today, right after I was finished eating a chocolate bar, I went jogging. When I looked to my right, I saw a pack of cute guys looking and grinning at me. I thought they were checking me out, but it turns out I had a chocolate print all over my butt. FML

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by “spilling” hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

Today, I dropped my phone in water, and my friends told me to put it in rice to draw out the water. They put my phone in riceroni. My phone now smells like chicken and has rice seasoning stuck all over it. Needless to say it still doesn’t work. FML

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

Today, at work, I was consoling a crying child. How did he thank me? By throwing up all over my legs. FML

Today, while working my first night out of training at a restaurant, I managed to spill an entire glass of red wine all over a family of four. Red wine was running down the bald man’s head, his wife was wearing white, and the kids started to scream. FML

Today, I realized if you leave a can of soda in parked car during a heatwave it will explode all over everything. My car is like a human glue trap. FML

Today, I learned why people bend over the toilet bowl while puking. If you stand up and puke, you can’t aim and you will have to clean up the puke that flew all over the bathroom. FML