FML Today » asked-him

rachaaaaeul says FML

admin — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 14:31:25 +0000

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

Embarressed… says FML

admin — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 15:20:56 +0000

Today, I was babysitting for my mum’s friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him “are you hungry?” He replied “No, I want to see your titties.” FML

missSensitive says FML

admin — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 00:31:56 +0000

Today, my parents and I decided to finally rent Avatar. Throughout the whole movie, my dad took it upon himself to talk. Annoyed, I asked him to shut up because this was a movie I really wanted to see. Instead, he patted my head and started teasing me about being so sensitive. I’m twenty and I’m still being treated like I’m five. FML

123456789 says FML

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:47:17 +0000

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love when I turn to find my brother standing at the door watching. Later I asked him how much he saw, he said “I saw from the part where you were both taking off your clothes to the part where she started screaming”. He had also told my mum. FML

spriggs says FML

admin — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 18:27:37 +0000

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him “How is the weather up there?” He then turned around, spit on me, and replied “Raining.” FML

miss_mitsy says FML

admin — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 23:55:54 +0000

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had cheated on him. I assured him that I had not. Then I asked him the same. He replied by breaking up with me for lack of trust. FML

BadLuckinLove says FML

admin — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 14:35:29 +0000

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, “If I say yes, will you be less pissed?” and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

HiveBoy says FML

admin — Mon, 17 May 2010 00:19:07 +0000

Today, my dad and I did some much needed yard work. We noticed there were a lot of hornets around, but he made nothing of it. I told him there was a nest just above the barbecue and asked him not to disturb it, because I’m really allergic. He wasn’t convinced I was. An hour in the ER proved him wrong. FML

crushcrazy says FML

admin — Sun, 09 May 2010 08:02:40 +0000

Today, I went out to dinner with a guy who I’ve had a crush on for a year. It was really windy, so I asked him to put his arm around me. His response was “You have on a jacket, let it keep you warm.” FML

ravyn says FML

admin — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 07:34:43 +0000

Today, I called my dad and asked him to email me a copy of my birth certificate, so I could forward it to my new employer. He named the file “ThatDreadfulDay”, and I didn’t notice until after I had forwarded it. FML

athletichic2012 says FML

admin — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 14:52:13 +0000

Today, someone hacked my boyfriend’s facebook account. They changed everything, including our relationship status. When I asked him about it, my boyfriend said, “well, I guess he had the right idea”. A hacker just broke up with me. FML

idontknow456 says FML

admin — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 09:01:48 +0000

Today, I woke up next to a man that I had a one night stand with. He was very good looking and when he looked at me, he looked horrified. I asked him what was wrong and he brought up how he was drunk and I looked much hotter that way. He then asked me to leave. FML

lollifox says FML

admin — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 10:04:43 +0000

Today, I tried to get my husband to go the doctor’s office with me so we could get check-ups, because we’ve unsuccessfully trying to have kids for a year. When I asked him to go, he said he knew he was fine because he already had another girl pregnant. FML

TripleL13 says FML

admin — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 15:38:33 +0000

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months changed his Facebook status from “In a Relationship” to “Single.” When I asked him, he said “I meant to tell you last night, but my phone died, so I couldnt call.” FML

sosadsocalsobay says FML

admin — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:52:26 +0000

Today, I threw my fiance out. I admit, I am very busy, but I am not so busy however that I wouldn’t notice someone taking a shower before going to the “gym”! So, I asked him about it, he got angry and said I was dumb. I followed him, and man did he have the workout of his life, so did she. FML

no_phone says FML

admin — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:52:18 +0000

Today, I woke up to a loud grinding noise. I followed the noise to the kitchen, where I found my boyfriend shoving my iPhone down the garbage disposal. When I asked him why he did it, he said “It wouldn’t stop staring at me.” FML

annonoymus says FML

admin — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:55:04 +0000

Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriends father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town’s paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He’s the editor of the newspaper. FML

kennarama says FML

admin — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 11:35:41 +0000

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, “No, but isn’t it a hot day out?” No, it’s twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

Prodigy says FML

admin — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 09:07:40 +0000

Today, I ran into a former college classmate at Subway. He proceeded to gush on and on about how I was the only one in our class with true potential. Then I asked him what kind of sandwich he wanted, because 3 years out of college, Subway is still the only place that will hire a music major. FML

OhCrapO_o says FML

admin — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 11:56:44 +0000

Today, my fiancé and I were having wonderful sex with the bedroom door open. After 2 hours of loud, passionate sex, we turned to see the contractor working on our basement standing in the bathroom doorway down the hall looking into our room, smiling. FML