FML Today » bathroom

WayTooMuchFacebook says FML

admin — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 12:20:33 +0000

Today, I read some funny scribbelings on wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to “Like” it. FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:18:57 +0000

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband’s farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it’s hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

mark says FML

admin — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 03:23:18 +0000

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, “Thank god. You really needed a shower.” FML

beccabooyah says FML

admin — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 09:55:19 +0000

Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I’m checking my news feed, I notice a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to shut the door to the bathroom, because it’s me on the toilet. FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 15:23:35 +0000

Today, I was washing my hands in my bathroom when I looked up to see a spider on my cheek. In a panic, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

Brian B says FML

admin — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 22:32:23 +0000

Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML

seaweedlady says FML

admin — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 18:17:51 +0000

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

armaty says FML

admin — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:38:36 +0000

Today, I was in the bathroom at the airport when I noticed I’d run out of toilet paper. I tried to reach under the next stall to grab some, when someone held my hand and said, “Two can play at this game” in a perverted voice. All I wanted was toilet paper. FML

mrsekko says FML

admin — Tue, 31 May 2011 17:15:43 +0000

Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she’d been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML

dancer_2014 says FML

admin — Sat, 28 May 2011 18:08:27 +0000

Today, I was on my first blind date. We went to a fancy restaurant in the middle in the city. After using the bathroom, I came back to an empty table. He stole my purse and left. FML

msjustine says FML

admin — Sat, 07 May 2011 00:10:04 +0000

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn’t wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

liynda says FML

admin — Fri, 06 May 2011 08:01:25 +0000

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

greenintheface says FML

admin — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 18:44:08 +0000

Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me until I heard, “Honey, what did you make me for dinner?” FML

wet says FML

admin — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 23:40:26 +0000

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house busted, soaked the bathroom, and sent water dripping down into the kitchen and basement for hours while no one was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees, and I can’t leave. FML

nosir says FML

admin — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 07:45:28 +0000

Today, I finished my 10 page paper in the school library. I saved the final draft but went to use the bathroom before I printed. I came back to discover that someone had replaced my writing with ‘SUCKS FOR YOU’, saved it, then closed the file. I now have to rewrite my entire paper. FML

Riley says FML

admin — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 14:28:52 +0000

Today, my grandma got up at 6:30am, clattered about the bathroom then sang religious songs at the top of her voice for half an hour. Apparently this is her normal routine, weekends included. She is staying with us for a month. FML.

American idol says FML

admin — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 11:07:04 +0000

Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML

troublewithbleach says FML

admin — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 08:10:52 +0000

Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, “WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH.” I still can’t go in the house. FML

hellosir says FML

admin — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 23:21:04 +0000

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn’t find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else’s fresh vomit. FML

cleangirl says FML

admin — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 11:42:33 +0000

Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said ‘What the hell’s this?’. I told him what it was for, and he said ‘You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?’. It wasn’t a female thing. It was shampoo. FML