FML Today » birthday

Nothingonyou says FML

admin — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:35:13 +0000

Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML

arace15336 says FML

admin — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 15:08:08 +0000

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML

ktin says FML

admin — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 19:54:13 +0000

Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don’t have a wii. FML

divorced says FML

admin — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 14:51:24 +0000

Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML

gutsforme says FML

admin — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 18:02:19 +0000

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied “to be single” and walked out of the room. FML

sicufovoshxbsjdk says FML

admin — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 07:45:35 +0000

Today, my grandma bought me a cemetery plot for my birthday. If that’s not weird enough, it’s about a 2 mile walk from where the rest of my family will be buried. FML

college sister says FML

admin — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 18:19:50 +0000

Today, it’s my sister’s birthday. She got a laptop, and $300 worth of clothes. For my birthday 2 weeks ago, I received nothing. This is the second year in a row this has happened. Why? Because my parents say I’ll end up costing them more anyway because I want to go to college, and she doesn’t. FML

ournameisdefinatelyfun says FML

admin — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 10:59:41 +0000

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find that my dog had gotten into my wallet and eaten my birthday money. All $450 of it. FML

GGimabeast says FML

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 10:40:16 +0000

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

Sleepyhead says FML

admin — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 21:53:40 +0000

Today, I woke up excited since it was my birthday. I talked to my girlfriend about what I want to do for my birthday. She said, “Your birthday isn’t today, it was yesterday.” She was right, I forgot my own birthday. FML

Emilym500 says FML

admin — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 15:08:47 +0000

Today, I received a check in the mail from my mom for my birthday. The check bounced, and I had to pay an overdraft fee. It ended up costing me $20 for my birthday. FML

winnerstar says FML

admin — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 10:09:51 +0000

Today, my neighbor called my mother and told her someone was robbing our house. Since my father wasn’t home, my mom just called the police. There wasn’t any robber. Just my boyfriend sneaking in to give me flowers at midnight on my birthday. I’m now grounded. FML

sb says FML

admin — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 18:21:07 +0000

Today, I got up to let my cat outside at 5:30am to see toilet paper draping my trees, lotion all over my driveway, eggs, and something that seems to stain cement. My mom says this is all my fault. Today is my birthday. FML

unhappybirthday says FML

admin — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 08:35:05 +0000

Today, I was in the car with my dad and younger brother. My dad suddenly says “Well, just 6 more days,” which made me happy because that’s when my birthday is. I smile and say “Yeah I’m excited,” to which he replies, “Me too, I’ve been waiting for your brother’s first football practice all year.” FML

TT says FML

admin — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 15:51:36 +0000

Today, it’s my birthday, and my fiancé took me out for dinner. The food and wine were terrible, I got into a verbal fight with the manager, and my fiancé broke down crying in the restaurant. FML

Nini says FML

admin — Fri, 21 May 2010 08:02:38 +0000

Today, I thought it would be nice to make my boss a cake for his birthday tomorrow. Two attempts and a call to the fire department later made me realize this was probably a bad idea. FML

Only_me_Pah says FML

admin — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 18:52:59 +0000

Today, I sent a ‘Happy Birthday Dad’ text. I got a reply saying ‘who is this?’ I’m an only child. FML

Appendix says FML

admin — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 15:12:22 +0000

Today, the doctor told me the abdominal pain I’ve been feeling for the past four days is actually appendicitis and I need to have surgery tonight. I’m living in a third world country attending vet school. There are goats in the parking lot, my final exams are next week, and my birthday is in four days. FML

Samantha says FML

admin — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 14:52:23 +0000

Today, I turned my phone’s ringer from vibrate to loud because I was expecting several messages and calls. I received none. Oh yeah, it’s my birthday. FML

rathernotsay says FML

admin — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 08:45:22 +0000

Today, it’s my birthday and my sweet boyfriend waited until it was midnight to dump me. He continued to explain how he was with me not because he loved me but because he felt sorry for me. FML