Posts Tagged ‘blinds’

Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML

Today, I noticed that you can see into my first floor bedroom window when my blinds are closed, all because I had them closed the wrong way. My neighbors have been able to see this for a month now. FML

Today, while trying to watch the fireworks from my apartment window, my kitten startled me and the blinds I was holding onto came off the window and smacked me in the face. I gave myself a black eye. Happy Independence Day to me. FML

Today, my neighboor saw me naked. I glared at him and tried to close the blinds. I ended up breaking the blinds, which resulted in the blinds falling down. FML

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a shirt. FML

Today, I realized that my coach doesn’t close the door and the blinds to perform half-naked body checks (to make sure his team is in shape) on anyone else but me. FML

Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven’t seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I’ve come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML