Today, I found out when my boss said her boyfriend was a mechanic, she really meant he used to work at Midas changing oil. This explains why the $200 I spent having him “fix” my car is now complimented by the $700 I now have to spend at the shop on my cracked radiator. FML
Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too, then said he wanted to take me out Friday. My boss is married with 2 kids, and is 25 years older than me. FML
Today, I went to work and my boss said he wanted to see me. After working for him for 5 years, I thought I was getting promoted. Turns out that he no longer needed me, and fired me. FML
Today, I discovered my former boss from the job I quit 3 months is now my boss at my new job. He was the reason I quit my old job. FML
Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML
Today, I brought my son to work with me. I wasn’t paying attention until I heard my boss tell me to get my child. Turns out my sneaky son likes to take my tampons and play the drums with them on my boss’s desk… during a meeting. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to cut his pubes onto my very important work binder. I was not aware of this and when I gave the binder to my boss to look over some work I put together, all of the hair fell out onto my boss’s lap. FML
Today, I found out that my boss doesn’t know my name. He’s been calling me David. I’m a girl. FML
Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn’t even networked, he said, “Oh, sorry, you’re the one who takes too many smoke breaks.” When I told him that I don’t even smoke, he said, “Just go…” FML
Today, I found out the reason I can’t get a job. My previous employer didn’t know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML