Posts Tagged ‘boyfriend-went’

Today, I found out my boyfriend went to a party, without me. I had planned a surprise get together with his best friend, who is on leave from the army. He told me he was busy taking care of his parents, who had food poisoning. I found out he was lying when he called me to bail him out of jail. FML

Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we’re dating. Their reasoning is that I’m not a ‘real girlfriend.’ FML

Today, my boyfriend went to the pub after work again. When I told him how much I hate coming home to a cold, dark house, he told me to turn a light on in the morning before I go to work. FML

Today, my boyfriend went to a wedding. He never told me it was his wedding. FML

Today, my boyfriend went out to get groceries. I stayed home and got on Facebook while waiting for him to get back. Suddenly, a chat box popped up. It was my boyfriend. He broke up with me on his phone’s Facebook app from the grocery store. FML

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, i rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail i was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively and passionately and his front tooth knocked against mine. I am now missing a third of my right front tooth. Average cost for a dental crown? $900. FML

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don’t know what’s worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML