FML Today » boyfriend

jodibut says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:46:28 +0000

Today, I put my boyfriend’s t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, “Can you wash that when you’re done?” FML

Madzison says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:32:34 +0000

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my boyfriend about his Miley Cyrus obsession. FML

tkr says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 09:43:20 +0000

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes ‘I’m too sexy for my shirt’ when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

Mrs. Man says FML

admin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:02:47 +0000

Today, a stranger told me how proud he was that my boyfriend and I were so open with our sexuality. For the past three years, most strangers have thought we are a pair of gay men. I am a woman. FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:02:36 +0000

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I’m angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

manhandled says FML

admin — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 23:03:31 +0000

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn’t careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

mareda says FML

admin — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 23:03:13 +0000

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

B says FML

admin — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:29:43 +0000

Today, I had a quicky with my boyfriend, because his dad was about to pick him up. Afterwards, I texted: “Nice to meet your dad, hope we didn’t look too heated.” A few minutes later, he replied: “Great timing, he was holding my phone.” FML

beautifulme says FML

admin — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:19:53 +0000

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

Arielle says FML

admin — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:19:49 +0000

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

Shelly P. says FML

admin — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 08:56:24 +0000

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn’t find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, “Exactly.” FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 17:10:06 +0000

Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn’t think he can do any better. FML

Cheating says FML

admin — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 05:56:43 +0000

Today, I was looking through my boyfriend’s Facebook photos, when I saw a recent comment by one of his friends asking how his night out with “Danielle” went. He replied: “Dude, keep that shit on the down-low.” We’ve been dating for over a year. FML

Bailyboo says FML

admin — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 09:47:45 +0000

Today, I admitted my fear of small spaces to my boyfriend. His response was to immediately lock me in the hall closet. FML

RequilaRainbow says FML

admin — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 15:53:16 +0000

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

wish.was.single says FML

admin — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 00:12:48 +0000

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn’t have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

Paicked says FML

admin — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:14:17 +0000

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 20:50:38 +0000

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

superficialheart says FML

admin — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 16:17:08 +0000

Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, in his adrenaline rush; he forgot all about me. FML

fuckthepopo says FML

admin — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 07:12:21 +0000

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML