Posts Tagged ‘came-home’

Today, I made a cake for my class at school, put it in the fridge, and left a note on it that said, “Please don’t eat me!” When I came home from work, I came upon an empty cake pan with a note that said, “I don’t take orders from cakes.” FML

Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a ‘fever’. I came home to a dead cat. FML

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

Today, when I came home from work, my computer was drenched with water. My sister claimed there was smoke coming out of it. FML

Today, I came home to find my husband very distraught and crying. Apparently his girlfriend dumped him. FML

Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn’t just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it’s a permanent deal. FML

Today, I came home from a week abroad. When I walked into the apartment, I discovered that while I was gone somebody had broken in, trashed my apartment, stolen my gerbil, and left an octopus on my living room floor. FML

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I’d been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

Today, I came home to broken plates, glasses, and a bent spoon on the kitchen floor. My family, apparently, had an argument on who left the refrigerator door open. FML

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won’t move ’til the ice melts. FML

Today, I came home to find a note on my door. I thought it was from my elderly disabled neighbors thanking me for cleaning off their snow covered car, since about 6 inches came down. It was from them, only it said I owed them for damages to their car. Damages that were already there. FML

Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said “I was in the mood for Chinese”. FML

Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he’d head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML