FML Today » came-home

yosenfal says FML

admin — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 04:14:24 +0000

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It’s her house, and I’m sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

Kara says FML

admin — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 19:21:17 +0000

Today, I made a cake for my class at school, put it in the fridge, and left a note on it that said, “Please don’t eat me!” When I came home from work, I came upon an empty cake pan with a note that said, “I don’t take orders from cakes.” FML

Clumsyblonde22 says FML

admin — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 14:56:38 +0000

Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a ‘fever’. I came home to a dead cat. FML

Loveandpoetry says FML

admin — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 08:38:44 +0000

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

Taurus_ChicKa says FML

admin — Tue, 31 May 2011 20:42:26 +0000

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

diddlebuag says FML

admin — Fri, 27 May 2011 23:53:08 +0000

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

Tokany says FML

admin — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 22:49:23 +0000

Today, when I came home from work, my computer was drenched with water. My sister claimed there was smoke coming out of it. FML

An angry wife. says FML

admin — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 00:16:31 +0000

Today, I came home to find my husband very distraught and crying. Apparently his girlfriend dumped him. FML

Anon_a_mouse says FML

admin — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 22:48:34 +0000

Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn’t just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it’s a permanent deal. FML

jimmyjkjr says FML

admin — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 16:18:14 +0000

Today, I came home from a week abroad. When I walked into the apartment, I discovered that while I was gone somebody had broken in, trashed my apartment, stolen my gerbil, and left an octopus on my living room floor. FML

nocakeforyou! says FML

admin — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 18:33:37 +0000

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I’d been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

brokencrap says FML

admin — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 23:31:40 +0000

Today, I came home to broken plates, glasses, and a bent spoon on the kitchen floor. My family, apparently, had an argument on who left the refrigerator door open. FML

theyreallydosmell says FML

admin — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 09:35:11 +0000

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won’t move ’til the ice melts. FML

kittyd says FML

admin — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 11:53:01 +0000

Today, I came home to find a note on my door. I thought it was from my elderly disabled neighbors thanking me for cleaning off their snow covered car, since about 6 inches came down. It was from them, only it said I owed them for damages to their car. Damages that were already there. FML

bluediva24 says FML

admin — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 08:46:31 +0000

Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said “I was in the mood for Chinese”. FML

marriageblows says FML

admin — Sat, 22 Jan 2011 07:49:59 +0000

Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he’d head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML

QLDer says FML

admin — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 22:16:37 +0000

Today, after months of trying to convince my three children that we don’t need a pool, I came home to discover my Brisbane house completely flooded. I guess I was right. FML

whitey says FML

admin — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 19:45:28 +0000

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

strwbrry says FML

admin — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 08:39:48 +0000

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend’s car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says “He wanted me to tell you it’s over.” FML

Ed says FML

admin — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 20:20:19 +0000

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML