Today, I was at the laundromat. I put my clothes in the dryer and decided to go next door and get a drink. By the time I got back, all my clothes were gone. I now have nothing to wear until I get paid. Which is in 2 weeks. FML
Today, the power was shut off after my mom forgot to pay the electric bill. Not having power to clean my clothes for work, I went to my boyfriend’s house to do it. On the way there, a storm broke out, and a tree fell on a power line. Now he has no power either. FML
Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being “too nice” and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. She broke up with me. FML
Today, my mom informed me that she doesn’t wash my clothes anymore. Instead, she sprays them with Febreze to “save money”. FML
Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she’s not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, my mom is moving out and I’m stuck with my grandparents. I don’t know who’s going to wash my clothes now. FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no on was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That’s when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Today, I was rushing to throw the laundry in so that I wouldn’t be late for my first day as a university tour guide. Later, I realized I left a pen in my pocket and now both the dryer and all of my clothes are covered in black ink stains. All of them. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend’s house. He decided to start a load of laundry before we went out to get dinner. As he was gathering his clothes, he picked up one of my shirts. He asked if it was mine. When I told him that it was my shirt, he let out a sigh of relief and said “Whew, thank god!” FML
Today, I got ready for a job interview. In preparation, I gathered and separated all my dirty laundry, which was all of my clothes, to be cleaned in my basement washer and dryer. When I got down there, there was a puddle of backed up raw sewage. I now have no clothes, no job, and no basement. FML
Today, I did a quick load of laundry so I would have work clothes for the week. I don’t have my own dryer so I dried them in the one in my building. After running out to my car, I came back to find that my neighborhood kids had added 6 sharpies to my clothes. Every uniform I own has stripes. FML
Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML
Today, I was at a party when I had to take a piss. When I was done, I discovered the door had been jammed. I tried to go out the window, but got stuck instead. My friends then went on either sides of the window and took off with my clothes. When I finally got free, I had to beg for my clothes back, with only a beer bottle covering my junk. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can’t exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML