Today, my dad dropped me off at my ballet class, and drove away immediately. I found the place was locked and deserted because it was snowing so hard. My dad had left his phone at home, and it was a 50 minute trip back on foot. FML
Today, my dad had a go at me because he thought I was embarrassed by him and that was why I never invited any of my friends over. I was too embarrassed to tell him it’s actually because I don’t have any friends to invite over. FML
Today, we returned from our honeymoon and went to see my parents. I noticed my dad had cut his hair really short so I said “Dad, what have you done to your hair?” He looked at my husband standing next to me, then looked me in the eye and said “What have you done to your life?” and walked away. FML
Today, during dinner, my dad had a fit of rage and told me I was picky and that I would end up being a loser like my cousin. What sparked this madness? I was moving pickles from my salad to my mom’s because she was saying she wished she had more. I like pickles. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn’t buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I’d wreck it. FML
Today, I was told that, although I was sick on the last day before break, they would still accept the 24 page essay that I had written. Tonight, as I went to print it out, I found that my dad had “cleaned up a bit” on my computer, including the documents from last semester. I have school tomorrow. FML
Today, I was rejected for a job I really wanted, they said I didn’t have enough experience. I designed the systems they are implementing. FML
Today, my dad had something to tell me. He’d cleaned out my bank account to pay off 38,000 dollars worth of gambling debt. My wedding is in 5 months. FML
Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML
Today, I was driving my new car home when I came around a sharp turn to see a groundhog in the road. I kindly stopped and allowed it to cross when all of the sudden a car slammed into the back of mine. Then, another car went flying around us. That car hit and killed the groundhog. FML
Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was ‘Don’t mess up the game for everyone’. FML