Today, my dog head-butted me, breaking my nose and knocking out my front teeth. As my boyfriend rushed over to help me, my dad walked in the door, saw my bloody face, and punched my boyfriend, breaking his nose. Then, while he was still on the ground, my dog bit him. FML
Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said “POSTURE!” FML
Today, my dad walked in on me singing “Bohemian Rhapsody”, while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML
Today, I was getting ready to go to the movies with friends. I was brushing when my dad walked into the bathroom and said I couldn’t go anymore. He thought I wanted fresh breath to make out with some guy. FML
Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading “Protect Your Nuts”. My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then proceeded to punch me in the balls. FML