FML Today » door

Pinkie says FML

admin — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 00:24:14 +0000

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

shyshy96679 says FML

admin — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 08:29:44 +0000

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

anonymous says FML

admin — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 23:03:45 +0000

Today, I was almost done getting ready for a really big date, when I heard my dad call for help from outside. I rushed downstairs and out the door, only to be ambushed and showered by my father with the garden hose. FML

sickbaby says FML

admin — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 18:12:50 +0000

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That’s right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn’t walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don’t believe I was having an attack. FML

ouchmyeye says FML

admin — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 10:23:55 +0000

Today, as I was sleeping I heard something bang on my door. I walked on my balcony only to find my boyfriend throwing rocks trying to wake me. He didn’t see me and threw a rock right into my eye. FML

JayFri says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 22:40:14 +0000

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML

Connie says FML

admin — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 11:47:49 +0000

Today, I almost missed the bus. I grabbed my backpack and ran out the door. It wasn’t until after we got to school that I realized I was still in my slippers. FML

CAchickadee says FML

admin — Sun, 29 May 2011 10:57:34 +0000

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

taydean says FML

admin — Thu, 26 May 2011 23:21:30 +0000

Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy’s. On the way out, I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell, “This is Sparta!” I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML

XXdrakeloverXX says FML

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 08:37:44 +0000

Today, I was eating lunch in the backseat of my car. Suddenly, a strange man opened the door and sat in the driver seat. Feeling scared, I grabbed my umbrella and whacked him on the head a few times. Turns out, he was my future father-in-law who apparently owned the same car as me. FML.

jruth7 says FML

admin — Sun, 15 May 2011 11:13:48 +0000

Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

liynda says FML

admin — Fri, 06 May 2011 08:01:25 +0000

Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML

Cuppycake says FML

admin — Wed, 04 May 2011 10:40:43 +0000

Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, “Wow, what’s that, your change purse?” He replied, “No, I’m diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor.” FML

Xtralicu says FML

admin — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 21:20:01 +0000

Today, I ran outside in only my boxers to close the parasols before a lightning storm arrived. While I was closing them, the wind blew the door shut, locking me outside in the storm. Two hours later, my brother finally opened the door, yelling “Are you crazy?! Are you trying to catch a cold?!” FML

gottapee says FML

admin — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 08:22:00 +0000

Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I’ve spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML

magicman says FML

admin — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 10:41:32 +0000

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

Niquesha says FML

admin — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 07:43:41 +0000

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

andimanastudent says FML

admin — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 07:02:36 +0000

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn’t unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to “put the key in the door”. I had forgotten about that option. FML

Sid says FML

admin — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 08:56:19 +0000

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor’s chihuahua. FML

PMSL says FML

admin — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 22:25:43 +0000

Today, I was at my boyfriend’s house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML