Posts Tagged ‘dreams’

Today, I got the car of my dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have “LAUREN” across the side of my car. FML

Today, the girl of my dreams handed me a heart shaped card. On the front, it reads “You + me =”. I open up the card and read the word “NOTHING!”. FML

Today, I met the man of my dreams. Beautiful, smart, academic, charming, a true gentlemen, totally my type. I am at a bar voted “the best gay bar in the world”. FML

Today, I finally found the girl of my dreams, she’s smart, loyal, energetic and adorable. There’s one problem. She’s a Golden Retreiver. FML

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I’m the most boring person I know. FML

Today, after months of begging and applying, I finally got the job where the girl of my dreams works. After being showed what to do, my new boss turned around and fired her. I hate this job. FML

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at ‘it’. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML