FML Today » entire

mazzer says FML

admin — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 07:57:58 +0000

Today, my dad had a day off and was ‘bored’ so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML

Monroe says FML

admin — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 01:35:52 +0000

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn’t tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

Scholar says FML

admin — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 22:07:07 +0000

Today, my professor spent the entire class showing us how to make paper airplanes. I pay over 40 grand a year for college. FML

rapturezz says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 14:00:49 +0000

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

o.v. says FML

admin — Mon, 16 May 2011 21:24:20 +0000

Today, the pipe in the dining room sink suddenly broke open and in about 15 minutes my entire apartment was turned into an indoor swimming pool. The worst part? I was there the entire time, playing video games with my headphones on. FML

Minda says FML

admin — Mon, 16 May 2011 08:24:49 +0000

Today, at work, a family returned their entire order of food and we had to make it over again. They wanted all their soups and salads in red bowls. FML

mmmonion says FML

admin — Wed, 11 May 2011 08:07:21 +0000

Today, I returned home from a 3 week holiday. I opened the fridge to see if I had anything to eat and was hit with a wave of vomit-inducing stench. I had left an onion in my fridge which had rotted away to almost liquid. Now my entire flat smells of onion. FML

lottielondon says FML

admin — Wed, 04 May 2011 17:13:48 +0000

Today, my garage was flooded. Everything was ruined. My garage also happens to be my study, in which my entire art coursework was drying. My exam is tomorrow and all I have to hand in is a pile of mushy paper. FML

nosir says FML

admin — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 07:45:28 +0000

Today, I finished my 10 page paper in the school library. I saved the final draft but went to use the bathroom before I printed. I came back to discover that someone had replaced my writing with ‘SUCKS FOR YOU’, saved it, then closed the file. I now have to rewrite my entire paper. FML

BrokeAndPsst says FML

admin — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 11:39:16 +0000

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we’ve been out this week. She didn’t even eat her food. I didn’t even get a thank you. FML

mrssagdiyev says FML

admin — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 19:10:28 +0000

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout “Very Nice! I Excite!” while having sex. He’s also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

NYC says FML

admin — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 02:06:46 +0000

Today, after thinking that my college roommate wouldn’t be replaced at this point in the semester, I rearranged my things to take up the entire room. Almost as soon as I finished, a new one showed up at my door, no warning given. FML

ColdMN says FML

admin — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 23:40:59 +0000

Today, I trying to scrape the ice off my car, but wasn’t having much luck. Frustrated, I kicked a clump off from the bumper. The clump didn’t budge, but the entire front quarter panel fell off. FML

jetlagged says FML

admin — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 22:48:43 +0000

Today, for an eight hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. So much for buying my way into a more comfortable flight. FML

rattness says FML

admin — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 00:26:22 +0000

Today, I found out the animal that was gnawing behind the kitchen wall all night was indeed a wild rat and his entire family. FML

nanuka_g says FML

admin — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 12:54:32 +0000

Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML

Interrupted says FML

admin — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 09:27:27 +0000

Today, while making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML

tiredwife says FML

admin — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 12:37:59 +0000

Today, my husband impulsively bought a used leather couch from our friend. After spending the entire evening rearranging furniture according to his “genius” ideas, we have concluded that there’s absolutely no way it will fit in our apartment. FML

fmmlll says FML

admin — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 14:42:15 +0000

Today, I’m going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad’s pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

FMLforreal says FML

admin — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 14:42:51 +0000

Today, I found my brother tampering with my laptop. He had changed the entire settings, in ways I don’t even know how to fix. I finally had to get my mom to threaten him to change it back to its original setting. I’m 15. He’s six and can barely get dressed by himself. FML