Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
Today, I got back from a three week trip in the Alaska back-country. I survived climbing fatally steep mountains, white water rafting in a freezing glacier river, and a near bear attack. Despite all that, a badly thrown frisbee managed to split my eyebrow in half. FML
Today, I came to the conclusion that waterproof band-aids are probably not meant for your face. I realized this when I ripped half of my eyebrow off. FML
Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. when I got home to show my family, my little sister said, “That’s so fake!” and tore it off my face. FML
Today, I was bored at home and decided to do the Circle of Life from the Lion King with my rabbit. He started kicking violently as I was holding him up, causing me to drop him directly on my face. A chunk of my eyebrow is now missing, and I look exactly like Scar. FML
Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn’t figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn’t automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML