Posts Tagged ‘face’

Today, I came to the conclusion that waterproof band-aids are probably not meant for your face. I realized this when I ripped half of my eyebrow off. FML

Today, I was helping my mom with our horse stable. I was done with my work and leaned up against a wall to talk to her. All of the window shutters are suppose to be attached to the wall, I leaned under the only one that wasn’t. The 50lb shutter came down and hit me in the face. FML

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

Today, after work, I peeled a parking ticket off my windshield. It was so hot that the ink from the ticket made a stamp on my windshield. Now I have a permanent reminder staring me in the face wherever I drive. FML

Today, I was riding my bike, when wasp flew into my face and stung me on the lip. My lip is now swollen to three times its normal size. I can’t eat or talk. FML

Today, as I was buying carrots, a little red light started flashing and an alarm sounded. Curious, I looked up, only to get sprayed in the face by a sprinkler for the produce section of the store. FML

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, “Don’t flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face.” FML

Today, my boyfriend decided he wanted to show me how strong he is by putting me over his shoulder. When he tried, he fell over backwards and dropped me on my face. FML

Today, I was on webcam for the first time with a guy I’ve been texting for a while. Trying to show off my guitar skills, I lean down to pick it up and fell on my face. FML

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML