Posts Tagged ‘family’

Today, I spent ages cooking a really nice dinner for my family. My lazy brother’s only contribution was to peel the carrots. The dinner was delicious, but did I get any thanks? No, all that was spoken about was how well the carrots were peeled. FML

Today, after having been gone for six days, I’ve confirmed my suspicions that I’m the only one in my family who does any of the chores. All the dishes were dirty and everyone was confined to using plastic silverware and paper plates. Not only do I help pay rent, buy food, and help out on the farm, but apparently I’m also the maid. FML

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Carribean. They can’t afford to take a ninth person. FML

Today, I ran into my boyfriend. The same guy that told me he was still in Florida with his family. FML

Today, my family and I went the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

Today, I forgot to go and pick up after my 8 year old daughter, after she had been away from her family for a whole week at Brownie camp. Her friend’s parents dropped her off and she ran in crying, thinking we had tried to get rid of her. FML

Today, I found out I’m the only one in my family to wash their hands after they use the bathroom. FML

Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don’t know what’s worse, that I’m not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML

Today, I went out with my family for lunch. I had noticed that a few of the construction men were checking me out quite a bit as I was walking down the street. Confident and feeling sexy, I strutted my stuff all the way down to the restaurant elevator, until I noticed my outfit was on backwards. FML

Today, I got my eyebrow pierced. when I got home to show my family, my little sister said, “That’s so fake!” and tore it off my face. FML