Posts Tagged ‘father’

ouch. says FML

Sunday, September 25th, 2011

Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I’d like some. My dad’s a plastic surgeon. FML

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tomcat69 says FML

Monday, July 11th, 2011

Today, after spending 6 months and $15,000 on lawyer fees at my 13 year old son’s request, his abusive, alcoholic father no longer has any legal right to see him. How did my son repay me? He ran away to live with his father the very first time I told him he couldn’t have friends sleep over. FML

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fmhusband says FML

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

Today, my father-in-law told my husband that I’m sleeping with his best friend. I’m not. My husband laughed and said, “Have you seen my wife? No one else will take her.” FML

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firethorn says FML

Monday, June 20th, 2011

Today, I opened my Father’s Day present from my mother in law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

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anonymous says FML

Friday, June 17th, 2011

Today, I was almost done getting ready for a really big date, when I heard my dad call for help from outside. I rushed downstairs and out the door, only to be ambushed and showered by my father with the garden hose. FML

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suze44 says FML

Monday, June 13th, 2011

Today, my father decided to “prepare” me for the real world by telling me that I’m ugly. FML

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maribel says FML

Saturday, June 4th, 2011

 Today, I got my beautiful daughter ready to be a flower girl for the first time. A flower girl in the wedding of her father, my ex-husband, to the women he cheated on me with. FML

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GoodSon says FML

Monday, May 16th, 2011

Today, I realized I have to teach my father about relationships and dating. Recently divorced after 30 years of marriage, he’s trying to get dates and doesn’t know some rules. For example: discussing your anal fissure with your pharmacist/lady prospect is, for some reason, a no-no. FML

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Steve.mc says FML

Sunday, May 1st, 2011

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

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Sammy says FML

Wednesday, April 27th, 2011

Today, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My husband, the father of the baby, got a birdie on the golf course at the exact same time. FML

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MyS3lf says FML

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He’s staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

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stolen says FML

Monday, April 11th, 2011

Today, I was robbed. They took my father’s ashes. FML

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poked says FML

Sunday, March 6th, 2011

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on facebook. FML

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campbellsoop says FML

Thursday, February 10th, 2011

Today, I told my best friend that I was pregnant and that I really needed her support. Shocked, she asked me who the father was. She then called me a backstabbing whore and stormed off. Apparently she is jealous that I had sex with a boy who turned her down a year ago. FML

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Fucked says FML

Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, “Don’t say shit you can’t back up!” Her father had picked up the phone the moment I’d said it. FML

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