Posts Tagged ‘father-decided’

Today, my father decided to “prepare” me for the real world by telling me that I’m ugly. FML

Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be “too confusing” for him otherwise. FML

Today, my 55 year old father decided to start college with me, taking all the same classes, and sitting next to me in each class. If that wasn’t bad enough, when the class introduces themselves, he introduces me as his son. FML

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

Today, my father decided to join me and my friends in our new hot tub. He was wearing a red speedo. FML

Today, I went fishing with my father. We saw a sting ray and me, being deathly terrified of them, started screaming and jumping around. It started to go away until my father decided it would be funny to push me in, right next to it. FML