Posts Tagged ‘finally-decided’

Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We’re both still virgins. FML

Today, the cute guy I met on Halloween finally decided to meet up with me after almost 10 months of phone calls, IM, and emails. He was noticeably disappointed and said I looked different. On Halloween I had full face zombie makeup. FML

Today, I finally decided to tell my best friend that I had a crush on him for five years. I was about to tell him when he told me, all excited, that he had asked out my other friend. I had to sit there for an hour smiling and telling him how happy I was for him. FML

Today, I was trying on different t-shirts infront of my mirror. I finally decided on my favourite white t-shirt but noticed that it had a mark on it. I tried to smear it off, but it wouldn’t budge. I then tried on three other t-shirts before realising that the mark was on the mirror. FML

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin and in a puddle of my own wee. FML