FML Today » floor

lionhead14 says FML

admin — Fri, 20 May 2011 22:55:09 +0000

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend’s and didn’t want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I’d sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

rioght onnn says FML

admin — Fri, 20 May 2011 22:55:04 +0000

Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I’d thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML

joelfrramyge says FML

admin — Tue, 17 May 2011 21:40:36 +0000

Today, I was walking under a low ceiling, when the “warning, low ceiling” sign fell on my head, sending me crashing to the floor. FML

BrownDump says FML

admin — Sat, 14 May 2011 15:36:33 +0000

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

megomania says FML

admin — Mon, 02 May 2011 18:49:45 +0000

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

tryandtryagain says FML

admin — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 11:08:26 +0000

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

fuckingdreams says FML

admin — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 00:53:14 +0000

Today, I was grabbed, had a bag shoved over my head and my wrists bound, all before being dragged away into darkness. Then I woke up with a start to find myself on the floor, in the middle of a history lecture, screaming bloody murder at my classmates. FML

chi_chia says FML

admin — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 18:19:16 +0000

Today, while vacuuming my car, I discovered a hole in the floor under one of the seats. Unable to figure out where it came from, I took it to a professional, who informed me that a family of rats has been making my car their home for the last several months. How lovely. FML

Neffney says FML

admin — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 00:55:43 +0000

Today, I was taking my maths exam when my papers were knocked onto the floor. I quickly tried to pick them up, but I lost my seating and fell backwards in my chair. I was sent out and had my test confiscated for being a nuisance. FML

Pain_intolerant says FML

admin — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 16:10:42 +0000

Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML

Gretchen says FML

admin — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 08:24:48 +0000

Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML

Faluna says FML

admin — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 01:05:53 +0000

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won’t come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

nobubblewrap says FML

admin — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 12:37:10 +0000

Today, I saw some bubble wrap on the floor and I got really excited. When I went to pick it up, I realized that it was just plastic wrap. It was the worst part of my day. FML

madelynn says FML

admin — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 08:33:38 +0000

Today, this guy I have a huge crush on came with me to my house to study. I was warmly welcomed by my drunken mother laying naked on the floor. FML

erlad678 says FML

admin — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 08:48:39 +0000

Today, I was woken up by the sound of part of my kitchen ceiling hitting the floor. FML

anti-peecleaner says FML

admin — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 00:47:36 +0000

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he’d accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

Fatality says FML

admin — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 22:46:15 +0000

Today, for once, I managed to get my boyfriend’s mind off the hockey game. I muted the TV and cuddled up to him. Only thirty seconds into snuggling, he shoved me onto the floor and screamed, “GOAL!” FML

peestain says FML

admin — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 14:59:51 +0000

Today, I babysat my neighbour’s spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

danjoylovefun says FML

admin — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 08:23:17 +0000

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

SadMouse says FML

admin — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 08:00:46 +0000

Today, I’m a dancer for Walt Disney World Parades. When I got to my break room, there was not enough chairs for everyone. I had to sit on the floor, which hasn’t been cleaned since who-knows-when. This is a multi-billion dollar company and we can’t afford chairs? I have to sit on the floor? FML