FML Today » fml

Nanabanana1 says FML

admin — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 08:25:25 +0000

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

Unhelpful says FML

admin — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 08:25:15 +0000

Today, I was called an ‘unhelpful little bitch’ by a customer, after I informed her that we couldn’t order a pair of shoes she wanted from the company in her size because it’s a discontinued model. This little tirade continued for another few minutes, with her insulting me and my intelligence. FML

Marc says FML

admin — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:51:14 +0000

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

Marc says FML

admin — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 03:51:08 +0000

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

jodibut says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:46:34 +0000

Today, I put my boyfriend’s t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, “Can you wash that when you’re done?” FML

jodibut says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:46:28 +0000

Today, I put my boyfriend’s t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, “Can you wash that when you’re done?” FML

Madzison says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:32:34 +0000

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my boyfriend about his Miley Cyrus obsession. FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:32:20 +0000

Today, my downstairs neighbor died. I knew because the smell wafted up to my apartment. FML.

hudd357mag says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 11:58:14 +0000

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, “What do you want? Did I text you?” FML

rattrap says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 09:43:26 +0000

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I’d seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven’t been going on it. It was a rat. FML

MahSquito says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 09:43:23 +0000

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

tkr says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 09:43:20 +0000

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes ‘I’m too sexy for my shirt’ when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

dadadoo says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 09:43:16 +0000

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

CaityLovesBo says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 02:57:53 +0000

Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 02:57:45 +0000

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 20:12:37 +0000

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald’s when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

oh.geez says FML

admin — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 15:39:25 +0000

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat’s personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him “Coach Daddy”. I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

dreefsa says FML

admin — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 15:39:18 +0000

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for “parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it.” My car was in the driveway. FML

anonymous says FML

admin — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:18:45 +0000

Today, I texted my wife saying “I miss you so much. I wish you were her.” I’m on a business trip. I couldn’t hit cancel in time. FML

inked says FML

admin — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:18:36 +0000

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says “Walk Earless” now instead of “Walk Fearless.” That’s right, I’m now supporting Van Gogh. FML