FML Today » foot

greeneyedpothead says FML

admin — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 12:12:39 +0000

Today, I got my foot stuck in the car seat belt. I kept pulling to loosen it up but it just kept getting tighter till my foot was in the air, so I started panicking and eventually started crying. My boyfriend had to pull over and save me from a seat belt. FML

Ben says FML

admin — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 01:34:25 +0000

Today, I broke my foot while waiting at the hospital for my friend. How? He ran over my foot with his wheelchair. FML

-_____- says FML

admin — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 16:19:47 +0000

Today, my foot was run over by a speeding ambulance. When they put me inside, they told me to sit next to the guy who was already there. He had his foot crushed too, by the same ambulance truck as me. FML

pepsifoot says FML

admin — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 22:54:29 +0000

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can’t. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

Sparks says FML

admin — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 12:57:23 +0000

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

YeahItsmecoolhuh says FML

admin — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 12:14:11 +0000

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

starmuser says FML

admin — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 00:51:10 +0000

Today, I’d just gotten out of the shower when I felt something under my foot. I looked down to discover a dead rat my cat had left me as a present. It was still warm. FML

BiteMe14 says FML

admin — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 23:59:48 +0000

Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me “get over it”, he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML

beer guy says FML

admin — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 12:01:17 +0000

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

ohshootgirl says FML

admin — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 07:52:07 +0000

Today, I was coming out of my work and a group of guys yelled, “Oh shoot girl!” and I blew them a kiss jokingly, then as I walked down the street, cars were honking at me, guys whistling. When I got home I noticed the foot long rip down my pencil skirt. FML

whyohwhy says FML

admin — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 23:59:21 +0000

Today, a horse stepped on my foot. The same foot I broke three weeks ago. FML

headslap says FML

admin — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 21:45:58 +0000

Today, I repeatedly told my wife how much money we saved by installing a hardwood floor myself. My son came in the front door and decided to slide across the floor in his socks. He got a 6 inch gash in his foot from a trim nail I didn’t pick up. The ER visit cost more than we saved. FML

OMFGaBALLOON says FML

admin — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 01:06:22 +0000

Today, while playing soccer with my friends, I cut my foot. In an attempt to help, my friend’s mother went to grab a cleaning wipe. She grabbed an alcohol sanitizer wipe instead, making the pain ten times worse. FML

Bruce says FML

admin — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 00:47:32 +0000

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML

booboo says FML

admin — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 00:57:05 +0000

Today, I stepped on a screw. It went right through my shoe but missed my toes. I was bragging how lucky I was until I stepped on another screw that went into my foot. They cant just pull it out, they have to unscrew it from my foot. FML

Ashley says FML

admin — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 00:56:56 +0000

Today, I found out that the foot scrubber I have been using for years is actually a tool to clean the inside of the toilet bowl. FML

brandogasianboy says FML

admin — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 07:55:57 +0000

Today, I dropped a box of nails in my room. I thought I had them all picked up but the hole in my foot proves me wrong. FML

Steelersfan50 says FML

admin — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 23:48:48 +0000

Today, while driving, I found a huge wasp on my leg. I stopped at a light, and the wasp flew into my jacket. While frantically unzipping my jacket, I lifted my foot off the brake and hit the car in front of me. The wasp then stung me. FML

Katekyn says FML

admin — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 22:38:18 +0000

Today, the first step I took this morning resulted in a blood-gushing cut on my foot. FML

lardy says FML

admin — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 14:25:12 +0000

Today, I had a seizure after my softball game. Apparently my teammates thought I was faking. When I gained consciousness, my teammates were all cracking up. Come to find out from one of them, that one teammate thought that putting her foot in my mouth would make me regain consciousness. FML