Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she’s running for mayor. She’s been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML
Today, my friend called to warn me that there was a tornado in the area. I immediately hung up and drove 15 minutes to a safe place. When I turned on the radio, I found out that the tornado was where I drove to. FML
Today, I made a post on Facebook saying, “I’m tired of people coming to me with their drama.” A few seconds later my friend called me and said his dad has cancer and doesn’t have long to live. He logged into Facebook and saw the post before I could delete it. He started crying and hung up. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting “LET ME INNNN” my friend called and asked where I was. That’s when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, my friend called saying she was gathering all her girlfriends for a girl’s night out. I was thrilled with the idea and started to think of something to wear. She then asked if I would mind watching her son. FML