Posts Tagged ‘from-work’

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn’t think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn’t shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

Today, when I came home from work, my computer was drenched with water. My sister claimed there was smoke coming out of it. FML

Today, I’ve been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to “signal problems”. We can’t get off because it’s “unsafe”. I’m on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML

Today, I got married and I’d invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I’m out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would too happy or too drunk to care. FML

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn’t collect me is apparently because I’ve “gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you”. FML

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was a of the toilet, with a caption: “This is what Taco Bell does.” FML

Today, when I came home from work, I saw my wife in nothing but black boots and a Santa hat. My boss and coworker were with me. I now have guys wanting to have a threesome with us. FML

Today, I went on a trip with some people from work to watch a baseball game. Halfway through the game, one of my managers shook my hand and said “Nice to Meet You.” I’ve been working there for 3 months. FML

Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML

Today, I got home from work after an eleven hour work day completely exhausted. But I promised myself I’d go for a run everyday. I went in the dark. A skunk chased me, and sprayed. FML

Today, I came home from work early and found my best friend and my visually impaired boyfriend having sex. His reaction was, “I thought it was you!” My best friend is a man. FML

Today, I was fired from work for faking sick to go to a concert. I asked the boss how he figured out, and he said, “On the 10 o’clock news, I saw you drunk at the bar talking about the show.” I was wearing a chicken suit, and was completely hammered. FML

Today, I got home from work and was feeding my saltwater fish. I have approximately $400 invested into the tank in coral and fish. An electric wire got loose and shocked everything. FML