FML Today » girlfriend

undoable says FML

admin — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 10:32:26 +0000

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, “What?” FML

Chester (Seattle) says FML

admin — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 10:32:13 +0000

Today, I got circumcised. And after the surgery my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends. FML

schoolkiddo says FML

admin — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:35:30 +0000

Today, my dad and his girlfriend left for a 10-day vacation. They booked an expensive beach-house. I’m an A grade student and just last month, he stopped paying my school fees because he ‘couldn’t afford it.’ Oh, and he’s making me feed the dog while he’s away. FML

single311 says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:09:47 +0000

Today, my friends switched my girlfriend’s number and my ex-girlfriend’s number. Thinking I was texting my girlfriend, I said, “Babe, I can’t wait to be with you tonight.” She told my girlfriend, and now I’m single. FML

Sexylarry says FML

admin — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 21:48:23 +0000

Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, “Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts.” FML

Fmylife.25 says FML

admin — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 21:48:19 +0000

Today, I got the haircut I’ve been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I’m scared to go. FML

lonleystoner91 says FML

admin — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 17:58:39 +0000

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML

bustedd says FML

admin — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 22:46:03 +0000

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said no, because she wasn’t sure we would last. We’ve been together for over 10 years, and we have two kids age 7 and 4. FML

weezel says FML

admin — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 18:10:34 +0000

Today, I took pictures of myself and my girlfriend doing naughty things together on my camera. My mom later asked me if she could borrow the camera for the weekend. Without thinking, I gave her the camera. FML

Noodles says FML

admin — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 14:13:15 +0000

Today, I clogged my own toilet which caused all the other toilets and sinks to clog as well. So, now, I’m taking a dump in a plastic bag and my girlfriend is taking pictures of me and forwarding them to all her friends. FML

nottelling7012 says FML

admin — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 10:59:51 +0000

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because of ‘creative differences’, as she put it. The real reason is that we couldn’t decide which cupboard the plates should have gone in. FML

gleefan116 says FML

admin — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 08:37:21 +0000

Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, “You should lose a lot of weight.” FML

yeah says FML

admin — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 01:29:41 +0000

Today, my girlfriend and I were role playing when her mum walked past the slightly open door, saw me, and chased me out of the house for stealing her baby’s innocence. I was only wearing a red speedo. FML

Ido says FML

admin — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 01:19:19 +0000

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend told me it’s over and ran away, and the wrong girl yelled, “Yes!” FML

matt23542 says FML

admin — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 11:55:05 +0000

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to change my girlfriend’s number in my phone and replace it with my church pastor’s. FML

jessiegirl says FML

admin — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 06:57:11 +0000

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how sweetly the main character on my favorite tv show proposed to his girlfriend. He told me to hang on a second, and later forgot about me while he told his brother about the hot blonde he slept with last night. FML

shaven says FML

admin — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 22:25:03 +0000

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about my upcoming haircut. She told me to keep the long hair because she likes it so much. The person messed up and ended up having to shave my head. My girlfriend broke up with me because I “purposely tried to turn her off”. FML

Photagrapher says FML

admin — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 10:49:15 +0000

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

LIKE says FML

admin — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 07:37:01 +0000

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. I found out when she “LIKED” a link that said “Like this if you’re single” on Facebook. FML

irresponsible says FML

admin — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 00:31:36 +0000

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML