Posts Tagged ‘hair’

Today, I got my hair done for $60 for a date with my boyfriend. When I finally saw my boyfriend, he said, “Bad hair day, ehh?” FML

Today, we returned from our honeymoon and went to see my parents. I noticed my dad had cut his hair really short so I said “Dad, what have you done to your hair?” He looked at my husband standing next to me, then looked me in the eye and said “What have you done to your life?” and walked away. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend eats my hair while I am sleeping. FML

Today, while straightening my hair, my four year old daughter thought it would be funny to put her glue on my flatiron. I now have massive glue clumps in my hair. FML

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to cut his pubes onto my very important work binder. I was not aware of this and when I gave the binder to my boss to look over some work I put together, all of the hair fell out onto my boss’s lap. FML

Today, my mother commented that my hair has been looking frizzy lately and smells really bad. My brother decided to confess to his prank. He put garlic in my shampoo and a bit of glue in my conditioner 2 weeks ago. I’ve been putting glue and garlic in my hair daily for 2 weeks straight. FML

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

Today, my housemate broke our shower and flooded the shop downstairs, trying to remove hair from the drain. She failed to mention this to our landlord, who is charging us equally. She thinks it’s fair because ‘it wasn’t her hair anyway’. FML

Today, my mother decided getting her hair done was more important than being there for the birth of her first grandchild. FML

Today, I was at a picnic when I felt something on my hair. Thinking it was a leaf, I took it with my bare hand and looked at it. It was a red hornet that was still very much alive. I shrieked in a high pitched voice. So did my boyfriend. FML