FML Today » hair

HomelessGirl1 says FML

admin — Mon, 21 May 2012 11:13:39 +0000

Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she’d been homeless. She works there. FML

littlekellilee says FML

admin — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 19:44:58 +0000

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML

maggie says FML

admin — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 00:43:54 +0000

Today, I got a round brush stuck in my hair so badly that I couldn’t get it out for 45 minutes, and had a panic attack. I had to drive through town with a brush dangling from my head, to the hair salon, and listen to them laugh while they got it out. FML

Henry says FML

admin — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 02:03:04 +0000

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

Jenievonteese says FML

admin — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 08:35:15 +0000

Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering it’s wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the “butterfly” stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML

Faithy says FML

admin — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 01:15:13 +0000

Today, I got flustered because my hair straightener wasn’t working. It took me fifteen minutes to realize I hadn’t turned it on. FML

ewwgross says FML

admin — Sat, 21 May 2011 04:37:10 +0000

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she’d gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

kekeroos says FML

admin — Fri, 20 May 2011 17:42:39 +0000

Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her ‘scalp pickings’. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML

moron says FML

admin — Mon, 09 May 2011 21:44:27 +0000

Today, I dropped my hair straightener. The good news is I caught it. The bad news is I caught it by the iron itself. FML

xXxrainxXx says FML

admin — Thu, 05 May 2011 22:57:41 +0000

Today, my friend finally decided on what colour to dye her hair: the colour of her congealed period blood. I can’t believe I’m friends with her. FML

Laci says FML

admin — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 22:11:05 +0000

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, “That’ll teach ya!” FML

sadcase says FML

admin — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 18:24:33 +0000

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don’t know what’s sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn’t hurt myself. FML

ILiveWithMorons says FML

admin — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 07:48:42 +0000

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

Broderick says FML

admin — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 11:20:55 +0000

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

Mousefears says FML

admin — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 09:10:39 +0000

Today, I took a shower. Once I was done, I went over to the cabinet that holds the towels. There was only one in there, so I grabbed it and immediately put it on my head. I screamed. It turns out there was a mouse in the towel. It latched onto my hair, and wouldn’t let go. FML

Magilla says FML

admin — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 00:38:13 +0000

Today, I underwent several cardiac tests involving heart monitoring nodes placed all over my chest. The lab techs didn’t pre-shave the areas and yanked out big clumps of chest hair as they removed the 10 nodes. They laughed, and said it could take up to a year for the hair to grow back. FML

mojolady says FML

admin — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 19:13:04 +0000

Today, lice were found in my hair. At the hair salon. I’m now banned from that salon. FML

mmromig says FML

admin — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 19:24:10 +0000

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

Mittie says FML

admin — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 16:32:48 +0000

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my old (and possibly senile) cat hacking up a hairball. Wanting to save my sheets, I grabbed an old bath robe and caught the mess. She then walked up to my pillow, squatted, and pissed in my hair. FML

f says FML

admin — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 11:30:23 +0000

Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML