Posts Tagged ‘her-boyfriend’

Today, I decided to have dinner with three friends to forget about the painful break up with my boyfriend. The first friend announced that she and her boyfriend had just bought a house , the second one that he was no longer single, the third one revealed that she was pregnant. FML

Today, my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd, I asked her about it. It turns out she’s installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her, and I got to help. FML

Today, my twin sister sent a nude picture to her boyfriend, who then forwarded it on to everyone else. Everyone else thinks it’s me. FML

Today, I flew to California to visit my younger sister at college. When I got to her house, her boyfriend looks at her and says, “Shes not THAT ugly.” FML

Today, I found out when my boss said her boyfriend was a mechanic, she really meant he used to work at Midas changing oil. This explains why the $200 I spent having him “fix” my car is now complimented by the $700 I now have to spend at the shop on my cracked radiator. FML

Today, I had to untie my mom and her boyfriend in the bedroom. FML

Today, my ex girlfriend, who I still have very strong feelings for, and I made out, until the point where her boyfriend called. She answered and told him everything, saying I took advantage of her. I now have a broken headlight and a black eye. FML

Today, I went to the movies with a girl I really liked. Midway through the movie, she told me to scoot down a seat because her boyfriend was coming. FML

Today, when I answered the door, the cops were at my doorstep accusing me of hitting my teenage daughter. It seems that my daughter got mad at me for not wanting to give her a ride to a party because I was too tired, so she asked her boyfriend to punch her in the eye so she could get back at me. FML

Today, my mother stormed into my room shouting about how I never go anywhere and then tells me to go out “NOW” and do something. As she is pushing me out the door, her boyfriend walks in. FML

Today, I bought my eight year old son a Nintendo Wii. To show him how to use the motion controls, I started a game of Wii tennis. Half way through the game, the Wii remote flew out of my hand and hit my son in the mouth. Now he refuses to play with the Wii and won’t talk to me. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. His response? “Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?” FML

Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I’ve just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend’s house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

Today, I got back from a trip with a lady friend. I spent nearly a week’s salary on a hotel, meals, gifts, tickets to show, and the like. As I drop her off at her place, she asks if I can let her out two doors down so her boyfriend wouldn’t get mad. Hello, friend zone. FML