Posts Tagged ‘her-house’

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn’t deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML

Today, I flew to California to visit my younger sister at college. When I got to her house, her boyfriend looks at her and says, “Shes not THAT ugly.” FML

Today, I got the haircut I’ve been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I’m scared to go. FML

Today, after 8 months of going steady with my girlfriend, she broke down into tears and sobbed about why I didn’t care enough to visit her once in a while. The last time I went to her house resulted in her mother throwing a rampage and throwing a vase at me, earning me stitches. FML

Today, my friend told me I’m not welcome in her house anymore. I’ve spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she’s pregnant and couldn’t herself. I just finished the job. FML

Today, my friend and I snuck out of her house to hang out with these three guys. After almost getting caught by her dad on the way out and waiting in the dirt for 30 minutes, the boys ended up taking us to their friends house to play UNO for 2 hours. FML

Today, I bought a cute dress for a party. Later at the party, everybody was complimenting me on my dress when the girl comes down with the exact one and demanded I switch because I was making her look bad. The party was at her house and she encouraged me to buy it. FML

Today, I learned that my mother carries pepper spray. How? I snuck into her house to leave her flowers for mother’s day, she thought I was a burgler. FML

Today, I felt like being spontaneous by surprising my girlfriend with flowers and a box of chocolates to say “I love you”. It turns out, I should’ve called ahead before I went over to her house; one of my friends was already there. They certainly weren’t playing video games. FML

Today, I received a phone call from my father asking how I spelled my name. Not only was he the parent who picked out my name, he was completely serious. FML

Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a “gift”. For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML

Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won’t be allowed there any more. FML