FML Today » her-house

yosenfal says FML

admin — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 04:14:24 +0000

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It’s her house, and I’m sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

Kaz says FML

admin — Sat, 07 May 2011 14:00:48 +0000

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

deliveryboy says FML

admin — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 19:10:24 +0000

Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn’t deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML

annonymus says FML

admin — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 08:26:51 +0000

Today, I flew to California to visit my younger sister at college. When I got to her house, her boyfriend looks at her and says, “Shes not THAT ugly.” FML

Fmylife.25 says FML

admin — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 21:48:19 +0000

Today, I got the haircut I’ve been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I’m scared to go. FML

GirlsAreStillAMystery says FML

admin — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 14:54:56 +0000

Today, after 8 months of going steady with my girlfriend, she broke down into tears and sobbed about why I didn’t care enough to visit her once in a while. The last time I went to her house resulted in her mother throwing a rampage and throwing a vase at me, earning me stitches. FML

Sapphirlinda says FML

admin — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 08:00:58 +0000

Today, my friend told me I’m not welcome in her house anymore. I’ve spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she’s pregnant and couldn’t herself. I just finished the job. FML

tmoney says FML

admin — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 07:37:23 +0000

Today, my friend and I snuck out of her house to hang out with these three guys. After almost getting caught by her dad on the way out and waiting in the dirt for 30 minutes, the boys ended up taking us to their friends house to play UNO for 2 hours. FML

Tammy says FML

admin — Mon, 31 May 2010 10:35:36 +0000

Today, I bought a cute dress for a party. Later at the party, everybody was complimenting me on my dress when the girl comes down with the exact one and demanded I switch because I was making her look bad. The party was at her house and she encouraged me to buy it. FML

peppered says FML

admin — Sun, 09 May 2010 15:12:33 +0000

Today, I learned that my mother carries pepper spray. How? I snuck into her house to leave her flowers for mother’s day, she thought I was a burgler. FML

Lostboys636 says FML

admin — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 22:38:58 +0000

Today, I felt like being spontaneous by surprising my girlfriend with flowers and a box of chocolates to say “I love you”. It turns out, I should’ve called ahead before I went over to her house; one of my friends was already there. They certainly weren’t playing video games. FML

crimson28 says FML

admin — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 03:18:20 +0000

Today, I received a phone call from my father asking how I spelled my name. Not only was he the parent who picked out my name, he was completely serious. FML

laydeegaga says FML

admin — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 03:13:35 +0000

Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a “gift”. For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML

J-Ro says FML

admin — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 02:45:00 +0000

Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML

loveless says FML

admin — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:07:03 +0000

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

IceMage says FML

admin — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 19:57:44 +0000

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won’t be allowed there any more. FML

Notthemaid says FML

admin — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:49:28 +0000

Today, I was talking to my mom about how my fiance has been ignoring me and that I didn’t know why. Turns out, my mother told him that I was too much of a handful, was mentally disturbed and also cheating on him. Just so I wouldn’t move out and would keep cleaning her house for free. FML

isuckatlyfe says FML

admin — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 01:04:03 +0000

Today, I was excited to see my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up while I was in Iraq and I wanted to try to get her back. I spent my first day back looking for a place to live while her and her new boyfriend got it on as I slept. I had chosen that apartment for us and paid for that bed. FML