Posts Tagged ‘keys’

Today, I was at work, nonchalantly spinning my keys around my finger when they flew off and hit a glass cabinet. Broken glass showered passing customers. I don’t think I’ll have a job to go to tomorrow. FML

Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys up onto the top shelf in storage. I’m 4’10. FML

Today, I went to the place I signed for yesterday to pay the first month’s rent and get my keys. I looked around before I left, and used the toilet. I went back later to show my boyfriend and found the place flooded an inch with water coming from the toilet. It had been flooding for 7 hours. FML

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

Today, I tried to act nonchalant in front of my neighbors, and swing my lanyard around with my keys on it. It flew off my finger and into their yard. FML

Today, my mom took away my keys to my car because she read in a magazine people have sex in the back seat of this kind of car. FML

Today, I got a call from my grandmother saying she locked her keys in the car and I needed to bring her the spares. After an hour bus ride, involving me missing my stop and getting temporarily lost, I arrived and handed her the keys. I brought the wrong ones. FML

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

Today, I was about to sit a very important exam and I had just put my bag in my locker when I realised I didn’t have my candidate number. I reached into my pocket to retrieve my keys, but they weren’t there. They were inside my locker. FML

Today, I was using the bathroom in one of my academic buildings. I stood up and pulled up my pants, and out of my back pocket fell my keys and ID card. Hearing the splash as they hit the water, I gasped in horror and made a motion to reach in. The motion triggered the automatic flush. FML

Today, my two year old daughter managed to lock me out on the third story balcony. I didn’t have my keys and I had no way of getting back in. My mother, who lives with us, had her cellphone off, and I had to call a friend to track her down seeing as she wasn’t home. I was locked out for an hour and I really had to poop. FML

Today, I accidentally locked my keys in my car. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the spare keys weren’t lost. FML

Today, I dropped my car keys down the elevator shaft at my dorm. I had parked my car at a parking meter, and now had no way to get change out of my car. It took six hours for someone to get my keys, and I now have a $75 parking ticket. FML

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

Today, I locked my keys in my car and called AAA. He got out to take a look at my car, and he locked himself out of his own car with his tools inside. It took us 40 minutes with a screwdriver and stick to unlock his car and 40 seconds to unlock mine after. 9 hours later, I found my extra key. FML