Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidently shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about my upcoming haircut. She told me to keep the long hair because she likes it so much. The person messed up and ended up having to shave my head. My girlfriend broke up with me because I “purposely tried to turn her off”. FML
Today, I went to the nurses office because my stomach hurt. She looked at me and said sympathetically, “Aren’t menstrual cramps the worst? There’s a cot in the back, hun.” She must’ve mistaken me for a girl with my long hair, because I’m a boy. FML
Today, I was using a power drill to take down the set for the musical we just finished. My long hair got caught in the drill, got ripped out and now I have a hurting, bleeding bald spot the size of 2 quarters. FML
Today, in aerobics, while stretching my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML
Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn’t “free-spirited and creative enough.” FML