Today, I found there was a 4 year old boy in back of me on the airplane. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he whacked the water bottle in my face. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, my boyfriend & I were having sex. While we were fooling around, he said “Tell me you’re my soulmate.” Touched, I looked at him lovingly & told him that of course I was his soulmate. He said “Huh?” I repeated it. There was silence for a moment and then he said “I said slut, not soulmate.” FML.
Today, my boyfriend came over to meet my parents. My mom looked at him and said, “You know how I always say it’s what’s on the inside that counts?” I replied, “Yes.” She looked at him again, leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Don’t take my advice.” FML
Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid for his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I’ve never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, “Thank you so much, I appreciate it.” He stared at me with a weird look for a moment, and then said, “Can I just get that in quarters?” FML