Today, my toilet overflowed when I flushed it in the middle of the night. I couldn’t do anything about it without waking my parents up, so I had to leave the mess on the floor. When I woke up, I forgot it was there and stepped in it. FML
Today, I arranged rose petals on our bed saying “I love you.” When my boyfriend got home from work, even though candles were burning enough to see clearly, he asks “what the hell IS this mess?!” and made me clear it up. Needless to say, I didn’t get any. It’s been months. FML
Today, my parents had guests over, and got pretty drunk. I went downstairs afterwards to clean the mess and found my dad naked in the middle of the kitchen, peeing in a cup. He tried to cover it up by quickly putting it in the sink, and blurting out “I’m doing nothing.” FML
Today, I woke up to find the house trashed from a party last night. My boyfriend had assured me the day before that he would wake up early and take care of the mess, since he was hosting the party. My mom’s turning up in 20 min. and he’s still asleep. Guess it’s time to find the mop. FML
Today, while waitressing, a little girl puked, so I cleaned her up and told the parents not to worry about the mess. The family had a $25 check. After cleaning up all the puke that was on carpet, I learned they tipped me 50 cents. FML
Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote “Here’s your tip for the night: Don’t play leap frog with unicorns.” FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML