FML Today » mother

ThatOneGirl646 says FML

admin — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:01:36 +0000

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she’s going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

Anonymous says FML

admin — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 13:11:32 +0000

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother “Mommy, is that man pregnant?”. FML

Ariel_Mariaa says FML

admin — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 06:10:20 +0000

Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother’s ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML

argh says FML

admin — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 08:58:40 +0000

Today, I’m staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it’s “swimsuit season” and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I’m not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can’t win. FML

Live02Dance says FML

admin — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 18:49:17 +0000

Today, my mother won’t give me any painkillers for my migraine. She believes that “When medicine goes into your stomach, the acids stop the medicine from working” and that “It’s all in people’s heads when medicine works”. FML

seaweedlady says FML

admin — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 18:17:51 +0000

Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML

firethorn says FML

admin — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 10:16:32 +0000

Today, I opened my Father’s Day present from my mother in law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

stillAvirgin:( says FML

admin — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 08:18:44 +0000

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don’t want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

Bechara says FML

admin — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 15:12:25 +0000

Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend “Actually, its a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch”. She was talking about my mother. FML

sherronj says FML

admin — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 07:18:51 +0000

Today, I announced to my family that I will be trying out for the next season of America’s Best Dance Crew. They responded by laughing hysterically and my mother said “You guys suck, good luck making it past auditions”. FML

Username. says FML

admin — Sun, 29 May 2011 22:36:47 +0000

Today, my mother told me she prefers Phoebe’s personality over mine. Phoebe is our cat. FML

FeedMe says FML

admin — Fri, 27 May 2011 18:41:37 +0000

Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I’ve eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML

NoRespect says FML

admin — Sun, 22 May 2011 23:30:58 +0000

Today, I spent an hour setting up a delicate display stand at work. Not five minutes later, a woman barged in with her little kid, who immediately went up to the display and tipped the whole thing over. When I called attention to the mother, she just scoffed, “Isn’t this your job?” and left. FML

jfc says FML

admin — Sat, 21 May 2011 04:37:14 +0000

Today, I will be forced to spend time with my extended family, because according to my mother, “The world is going to end, and Jesus is taking angels home.” Apparently, she doesn’t know which of us will go to heaven, and who will be stuck in limbo. FML

sakurabunny says FML

admin — Mon, 16 May 2011 18:11:16 +0000

Today, our cable, internet, and home phone got shut off because my mother-in-law decided that since we are moving, it was easier to not pay the bill rather than close the account. We’re not moving for another month and the account was under my name. FML

asadwa says FML

admin — Thu, 05 May 2011 10:21:29 +0000

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I’m homeschooled, and she’s my teacher. FML

Derps says FML

admin — Wed, 04 May 2011 15:27:11 +0000

Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML

kayt240 says FML

admin — Wed, 04 May 2011 10:40:40 +0000

Today, my husband told me that he’s letting his mother move in with us. He told her it was alright without even consulting me first. I hate my mother in law so much that I’m contemplating divorce rather than living with her. FML

srsly_what says FML

admin — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 07:12:30 +0000

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It’s a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting “GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!” FML

RuffianLivesOn says FML

admin — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 22:40:14 +0000

Today, I finally convinced my mother to take me to a doctor. For years, I’ve had excruciating back pain that prevents me from getting me a good night’s sleep and my mom always told me to stop whining about it. It turns out that I have scoliosis, and inherited it from her. FML