Posts Tagged ‘night’

kimboslice106 says FML

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it’d be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was “Why bother? You’re on your period, it’s not like we can do anything.” FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (4 votes cast)

wowza says FML

Saturday, May 28th, 2011

Today, I was spending the night in a hotel room with my friend and her mom. I was really tired and was about to yawn. My yawn sounded sexual and my friend’s mom now thinks I played with myself. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (7 votes cast)

ewwgross says FML

Friday, May 20th, 2011

Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she’d gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (6 votes cast)

Jan says FML

Sunday, May 15th, 2011

Today, I woke up to moaning sounds coming from the spare bedroom. Apparently, the night before, I drunkenly told my fiancé he could have sex just once with anyone he liked before our wedding day. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (9 votes cast)

Catie says FML

Friday, May 13th, 2011

Today, my husband and I went to the state fair. The entire time, he complained about all the money we were losing because of the high prices of both rides and food. Towards the end of the night, we counted the cash we had left and found we were $50 short. Apparently, it fell out of his pocket. FML

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Rating: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)

Kaz says FML

Saturday, May 7th, 2011

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

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Rating: 3.9/5 (16 votes cast)

ummno says FML

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I’d only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

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Rating: 4.4/5 (16 votes cast)

wowimscrewed says FML

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she’s getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels “harassed”. I’m the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML

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Rating: 4.6/5 (9 votes cast)

caseyj says FML

Friday, March 25th, 2011

Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML

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Rating: 4.4/5 (9 votes cast)

no name says FML

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I’d coughed up a cockroach. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (5 votes cast)

Jade says FML

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. In my groggy state, I grabbed the first bottle of liquid I could find, opened it, and took a sip. It was nail polish remover. FML.

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Roomie says FML

Saturday, January 29th, 2011

Today, after returning to my dorm room having stayed the night at a friend’s, I found my roommate sleeping in my bed. When I woke her up, she confessed that since she couldn’t find any tampons the night before and didn’t want to get any blood in her bed, she decided to sleep in mine instead. FML

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Rating: 3.3/5 (4 votes cast)

NotoriousSRJ says FML

Friday, January 28th, 2011

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn’t working I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (5 votes cast)

Alana says FML

Saturday, January 1st, 2011

Today, I went to a New Year’s party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML

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khaelian says FML

Wednesday, November 10th, 2010

Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML

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Rating: 2.0/5 (2 votes cast)

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