Posts Tagged ‘nose’

Today, I decided that the only way of getting my brother off the couch was to tickle him off. Apparently, he was more ticklish than I thought, and kicked me in the nose. Now, along with bruising, I can’t breathe out of my left nostril. FML

Today, I woke up after a night of celebrating my end of exams. I opened my eyes to see my ex-boyfriend naked beside me, picking his nose. FML

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn’t figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn’t until an hour later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

Today, I decided to act sexy for my boyfriend. I wore high heels because he thinks they are sexy. As I walked towards him, I tripped, landed on his nose, and broke it. FML

Today, I decided to pose for a picture picking my nose with my pocket knife. My friend decided it was a good idea to jump out of no where and scare me. Slit nostrils are cool, right? FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me if he could pick my nose during sex. FML

Today, I caught my boyfriend blowing his nose on my blanket. After yelling at him and refusing to use the blanket to sleep with he tells me I might as well sleep with the blanket because this isn’t the first time he’s blown his nose on it. I have been wrapping myself in a snot blanket for months. FML

Today, I caught my boyfriend picking his nose and eating it. Again. FML

Today, I hit the girl I like in the face with the door, breaking both her nose and chipping her front teeth. FML

Today, I was trying to pop a huge zit on my nose, and when I did, the puss squirted into my eye. FML