FML Today » nose

baugy says FML

admin — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 07:32:19 +0000

Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML

ouchouchouch says FML

admin — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 10:53:40 +0000

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

stephiew says FML

admin — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 08:58:19 +0000

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, “Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I’m sure it’ll come out in the wash.” FML

meggiemouse says FML

admin — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 23:10:22 +0000

Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I’d done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML

iFMLftw says FML

admin — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 11:28:11 +0000

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

Clumsyblonde22 says FML

admin — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 14:56:38 +0000

Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a ‘fever’. I came home to a dead cat. FML

raebelle says FML

admin — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 22:01:11 +0000

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

Smile No More says FML

admin — Fri, 13 May 2011 17:43:34 +0000

Today, I was wondering why I was getting strange looks all day at work. When I got to a mirror after my shift, I noticed a booger hanging out of my nose, which was visible only when I smiled. My job involves greeting people all day with a huge smile. FML

coldwetnose says FML

admin — Mon, 09 May 2011 10:56:48 +0000

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend’s bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend’s dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

littlegirl says FML

admin — Sat, 07 May 2011 10:57:06 +0000

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shoots straight up my nose and I had the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

Vamp says FML

admin — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 17:33:37 +0000

Today, during a job interview, my nose started bleeding abundantly. About at the same time, I sneezed. My blood got on the employer’s glasses and shirt. Guess I’m not getting a job today. FML

j nasty says FML

admin — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 14:19:52 +0000

Today, while I was at work, my boss picked his nose, checked out his finding and flicked it in front of me. FML

Viciousvixen_21 says FML

admin — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 15:37:57 +0000

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

radicaloser says FML

admin — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 15:41:57 +0000

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of the sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

Nerrh says FML

admin — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 16:45:52 +0000

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

mwja says FML

admin — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 01:50:43 +0000

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

overprotected says FML

admin — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 12:01:40 +0000

Today, my dog head-butted me, breaking my nose and knocking out my front teeth. As my boyfriend rushed over to help me, my dad walked in the door, saw my bloody face, and punched my boyfriend, breaking his nose. Then, while he was still on the ground, my dog bit him. FML

phillyfan4life says FML

admin — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 01:07:09 +0000

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

Whatever479 says FML

admin — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 23:22:01 +0000

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I’d Skype with him. Thinking he’d find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML

bluediva24 says FML

admin — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 08:46:31 +0000

Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said “I was in the mood for Chinese”. FML