Posts Tagged ‘pants’

Username says FML

Monday, June 27th, 2011

Today, my boyfriend came before I’d even unbuttoned my pants. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (4 votes cast)

NewTenant says FML

Monday, June 20th, 2011

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment’s laundry machines to me, I blurted out, “It’s okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads”. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)

callie says FML

Saturday, June 18th, 2011

Today, I got some really bad mosquitoe bites on the outside of my thighs. They were itching and my jeans were preventing me from scratching them so I unbuttoned my pants and had my hand stuck down my leg scratching. My mom walked in and won’t believe I wasn’t masturbating. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)

ieatcocksdaily says FML

Sunday, June 12th, 2011

Today, my boyfriend was making out with me. He put his hand down my pants and started to finger me. After a few minutes he said, “You’re hard to get wet.” I guess he didn’t know his fingers were up my ass. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (7 votes cast)

woodchuck0022 says FML

Saturday, May 21st, 2011

Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I’d lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn’t until much later that I realised I hadn’t lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (3 votes cast)

scarlet says FML

Monday, May 9th, 2011

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

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Rating: 4.9/5 (14 votes cast)

Niquesha says FML

Sunday, April 24th, 2011

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

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Rating: 4.9/5 (13 votes cast)

n77 says FML

Friday, April 22nd, 2011

Today, at work, a customer went to try on a pair of pants. A few minutes later, she hurriedly returned and put the pants back on the shelf without saying anything. I later found out she’d come down with a bout of diarrhea and apparently didn’t want to pay for the dry-cleaning. Glamorous. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (7 votes cast)

killercow says FML

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said “you know you can’t wash and reuse these.” FML

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Rating: 4.8/5 (17 votes cast)

levi Glasscock says FML

Friday, April 15th, 2011

Today, my mom called me and said, “I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants.” I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML

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Rating: 4.8/5 (12 votes cast)

taylor says FML

Friday, April 1st, 2011

Today, I was in a desperate rush to go to the toilet. My phone fell out of my pocket and slid under the door when I pulled down my pants. I decided to postpone my activity and retrieve my phone. I opened the door, only to see a kid power-walk out, my phone nowhere to be seen. I then pissed myself. FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (9 votes cast)

Nate says FML

Thursday, March 31st, 2011

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

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Rating: 4.2/5 (14 votes cast)

Cuzles says FML

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn’t get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

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Rating: 3.8/5 (9 votes cast)

caqi33 says FML

Tuesday, March 8th, 2011

Today, I dropped my urine sample on my pants. Not only do I now not have a sample, it looks like I pissed myself. FML

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Rating: 4.3/5 (3 votes cast)

unwantedlove says FML

Friday, February 25th, 2011

Today, my fiancĂ© and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, “You’re blocking the TV.” FML

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Rating: 5.0/5 (4 votes cast)