FML Today » pants

sad-sexed says FML

admin — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 17:18:39 +0000

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn’t really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn’t enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

zach says FML

admin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:46:58 +0000

Today, after making out with my girlfriend for the first time, I took down my pants only to have her say,’ Eww, what’re those drooping sacks? They look like tumours.’ She was serious. FML

kidssuck says FML

admin — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 22:35:28 +0000

Today, I went shopping with my son. When I passed by the alarm gates, they rang. It came to my attention that my five year old son stuck an anti-theft device in his pants. Security thinks I tried to have him shoplift for me. FML

Georgia says FML

admin — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 10:14:03 +0000

Today, my crush walked past. Wanting to be friendly, I reached out to tap him on the shoulder and say hi. As I did, I tripped over my own shoelace. While falling, I grabbed at the nearest thing for support. It was his pants, and I took them down with me. FML

BadLuckinLove says FML

admin — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 14:35:29 +0000

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, “If I say yes, will you be less pissed?” and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

Tp says FML

admin — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 08:52:54 +0000

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

Lmfao says FML

admin — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 10:14:11 +0000

Today, I was getting off with someone for the first time. I came in my pants as soon as my tongue went in her mouth. FML

megaladon says FML

admin — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 15:51:43 +0000

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said “scruffy, scruffy, scruffy.” FML

eccentricity says FML

admin — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 11:49:51 +0000

Today, I went to the beach with my mom. I began to strip down to my bathing suit to get in the water. My mom did the same with her pants. She wasn’t wearing a bathing suit. FML

poopyboy22 says FML

admin — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 14:29:45 +0000

Today, my boyfriend decided to give me a nice lap dance. He started to strip off his clothes, pulled his pants off and turned around. I then noticed that he had shit stains on his underwear. Total turn off. FML

ChillyChilly says FML

admin — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 22:54:16 +0000

Today, I realized I need to use a safety pin to keep my pants up. Not because I’m too thin or my pants are too big for me, but because I’ve stretched all my pants so much with my recent weight gain, my zipper won’t stay up. FML

vinch says FML

admin — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 22:47:29 +0000

Today, I desperately had to go to the toilet. I realised there was no toilet paper. As if walking from one room to another with my pants around my ankles and shit on my ass wasn’t bad enough, my neighbours had a good look at me through my window while waiting for me to answer the door. FML

failpenis says FML

admin — Mon, 31 May 2010 07:12:19 +0000

Today, my girlfriend was trying to put her hand on my penis over my pants. She couldn’t find it. FML

gedderdunn says FML

admin — Mon, 24 May 2010 11:08:18 +0000

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn’t have extras. FML

not_thirsty says FML

admin — Fri, 21 May 2010 11:02:09 +0000

Today, my dad pulled a bag of semi-melted ice out of the crotch of his pants and asked me if I was thirsty. This happens on a regular basis. FML

Avalanche says FML

admin — Sun, 09 May 2010 21:52:57 +0000

Today, I went quadding with my best friend. We went over a bump and we both started laughing. Then I noticed she was peeing her pants from laughing so hard. I was on the back of the quad getting soaked in her pee. FML

rubbezman says FML

admin — Mon, 03 May 2010 21:57:04 +0000

Today, I was visiting the chiropractor for some back pain I’ve had for quite a while. While I was laying on the bench, the doctor snapped my back and I shit my pants. FML

stuffed says FML

admin — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 08:20:24 +0000

Today, while watching a movie, I said to my new girlfriend it’s bullshit how girls get away with false advertising by stuffing their bras, but the second a guy stuffs his pants it’s game over. She seemed upset and went to the bathroom, finally coming out at least 2 cup sizes smaller. FML

shmelly says FML

admin — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 11:07:07 +0000

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, “caution, contents may be stinky.” FML

rawr. says FML

admin — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 14:28:57 +0000

Today, I was at Walmart just looking around when all of a sudden a little boy jumped out of a clothing rack in attempt to scare me. He was successful in scaring me, but also caused me to pee my pants in the middle of the store. FML