Posts Tagged ‘past’

Today, I tried to open the research paper I’ve been working on for the past month, only to discover that the entire file is permanently lost and can’t be recovered. This is not the first time this has happened to this paper. FML

Today, I found out the bank account I’ve had for the past four years is in fact shared with my mother. I found out when I got a letter in the mail claiming I have an outstanding overdraft fee for overspending. I haven’t used my card in months. FML

Today, I found out I’ve been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML

Today, I discovered what the horrid stench in the car was. I had compared the odor to a “rotting carcass” for the past two weeks, but never found a source. Turns out it was a rotting carcass. We somehow neglected to remove the chicken from the car from the last grocery visit. FML

Today, I brought inside the lawn chair that has been outside for the past week. Little did I know that hundreds of earwigs were living inside the metal frame. FML

Today, I had a midterm that I studied for during the past week. I know that I had most of the material, but somehow skipped a question and my Scantron answers shifted by one answer. I got 13% on the test. FML

Today, I found out why food gets stuck on my teeth a lot for no apparent reason. My sister has put glue in my toothpaste for the past two weeks. FML

Today, I found out that the leak that has been dripping constantly on my head at work for the past 4 days is human waste from the three flats above. FML

Today, my best friend told me that for the past two years, he’s hated being around me. In the past two years I’ve saved his relationship, gotten him several jobs, and paid for several vacations, not to mention the whole ‘being his friend’ thing. FML

Today, after spending the past hour writing an essay on why I should have an English writing course waived, I realized I sent the email with grammatical errors. FML