Today, I plucked a candy cane off our Christmas tree as I waited for my lunch to finish cooking on the stove. The weight ratio of candy canes to tree branches was knocked out of whack, and the 9 foot artificial tree fell on top of me. I was pinned to the floor and my food burned. FML
Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can’t. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML