Posts Tagged ‘room’

Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML

Today, while looking up info on my future college, my mom came in my room and accused me of wasting all my time in front of the computer. I had just trimmed and mowed the lawn, vacuumed the house, and cleaned the bathroom. She took my laptop, then sat down at her desk and browsed YouTube on it. FML

Today, I came home from my vacation to find out my brother has moved back in, and my mom gave him my room. All of my things are in the hallway, and I’m now sleeping in the living room. I’m a 16 year old girl with NO privacy or a bed. FML

Today, I was having it off with my girlfriend when my mom suddenly walked into the room. Her eyes went wide and she screamed, “I never thought this day would come. My little boy has finally got laid!”. I lost my virginity two and a half years ago. FML

Today, I found out that the chocolate sprinkles I have been using with my ice cream were not only chocolate sprinkles, but also little pieces of mice turd. Courtesy of my room-mate. FML

Today, I decided to pull a prank on my brothers, so i hid inside the cabinet in my room and waited for either of my brothers to come in. Apparently, my brothers saw me go inside the cabinet and so they locked me inside. it took me 4 hours to get out of the cabinet. FML

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

Today, I spent half an hour tearing my room apart looking for my inhaler that I desperately needed to use. I almost gave up when I found it two feet away from me, hiding behind my alarm clock. FML

Today, my boyfriend took a dump in my toilet. He came into my room, laughing, saying he clogged the toilet. I didn’t believe him, so I checked. When I looked, the water was just really low, so I flushed. It quickly rose and started overflowing, flooding the bathroom. My socks got wet. FML

Today, my dad bought an Annoy-a-tron, a tiny device that makes loud annoying beeps. I ripped my room apart trying to find it. After finding one and turning it off, I found the invoice and discovered that he’d bought two. I’ll probably never sleep again. FML