FML Today » room

daddylove says FML

admin — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 11:21:32 +0000

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says “Oh, honey. I don’t care… Just keep the noise down.” Then walks out. FML

kimboslice106 says FML

admin — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 10:17:14 +0000

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it’d be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was “Why bother? You’re on your period, it’s not like we can do anything.” FML

longlostkid556 says FML

admin — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 10:43:15 +0000

Today, the girl that I have a crush on was over to work on a project. My dad then rushed into the room, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

StupidApple says FML

admin — Wed, 25 May 2011 07:48:42 +0000

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I’ve been charged $600. FML

bugnose says FML

admin — Mon, 16 May 2011 11:27:42 +0000

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

chillin says FML

admin — Sun, 15 May 2011 17:44:33 +0000

Today, I woke up to a strange feeling crawling on my face. I hit myself and felt a splatter… it was a cricket. I then got out of bed to realize that all the crickets that I bought for my lizard had escaped from the tank and were now all over my room. FML

ali grace says FML

admin — Sat, 14 May 2011 15:36:27 +0000

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. Well, apparently Mom comes home on her lunch break with another man and has sex in our livingroom. I’m stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

Xanadu says FML

admin — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 11:31:49 +0000

Today, I made a video for a school tour of my apartment in German. The walls in my apartment are thin, so you could hear my sister having phone sex in her room in the background. FML

arbiter3 says FML

admin — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 15:45:59 +0000

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won’t stop crying. FML

Thorgold says FML

admin — Sun, 03 Apr 2011 04:42:02 +0000

Today, I went to a job interview. I thought everything went really well, and after shaking hands with my interviewer, I went to leave. On my way out, I paused to tie my shoe. He apparently hadn’t noticed I was still in the room, because he summarily dumped my resume into the trash can. FML

elleiR says FML

admin — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 19:13:30 +0000

Today, I was at the dentist getting a tooth pulled. The dentist had given me “laughing gas” so I wouldn’t feel anything. Without thinking, I told him he was pretty hot. The dental hygenist, also in the room, was his wife. FML

rowie1311 says FML

admin — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 23:20:57 +0000

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I’d gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I’d said to sink in. FML

LNGHRN says FML

admin — Sun, 20 Mar 2011 12:16:04 +0000

Today, it was my birthday. My mom, dad, and brother decided to wake me up by bursting into my room unannounced with a birthday cake. They found me sprawled over the bed naked, along with vaseline, tissues, and a Playboy. I still haven’t said a word to them since. FML

nosleeptilpissoff says FML

admin — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 18:30:39 +0000

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It’s fun trying to sleep too. FML

wowmom says FML

admin — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 08:28:58 +0000

Today, after searching for my favorite shirt, I asked my mom if she had seen it anywhere. She sighed, and confessed to me that she had been sneaking into my room and tossing out various articles of my clothing that she thought were ugly. Apparently, this has been going on for months. FML

thenotsomanlyman says FML

admin — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 18:53:25 +0000

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, “I’m used to it.” FML

Jonny-Poodle says FML

admin — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 22:15:22 +0000

Today, I was in my room, when I heard screams coming from the kitchen. I ran downstairs, only to be confronted by flames coming from the stove. My mom had forgotten all about the cooking, because she was “so absorbed” in her game of FarmVille. FML

Animal says FML

admin — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 01:10:44 +0000

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, “No takers yet, eh?” FML

LookingLack says FML

admin — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 23:50:31 +0000

Today, I was in my room. When suddenly my dad started chasing my sister around the house yelling, “Fart! You farted! Fart!”. My sister is 17, and my girlfriend was visiting. FML

chica97 says FML

admin — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 11:07:45 +0000

Today, my boyfriend and I were going to his room to have sex. When I got into his room, all I saw was stuffed toys. FML